Some dos and don'ts for academic socials...

Tonight was my first core seminar for the term and I had a lovely time. The seminar was followed by a drinks reception to allow all of the returning and new students/faculty to mingle and catch-up or become acquainted. While it's true that I am rather wary of my College functions, I always look forward to my Faculty's functions since most of my friends have been made through the History Faculty.

Still, it became clear to me tonight that even when you are in familiar and generally friendly situations, if acquaintances are at all involved, some key dos and don'ts should always apply. These are the top 5 that I was reminded of tonight:

1. When in a small group, never ask an acquaintance "So, what have you been up to recently?" - unless you are prepared to hear any answer.

2. When encountering an answer which includes a woeful story of long-term love recently spurned and then spat upon - NEVER OFFER ADVICE. This will only lead them to emphasise how pointless life is and that they are sure they now want to quit their DPhil program.

3. Always have a friend in the room with whom you occasionally make eye contact. That way, if you forget #1 and #2, they can come and save you.

4. Never wear something that will reveal or emphasise your signs of nervousness. Even if you are sure you won't be nervous at all - believe me - nervousness strikes when you are most happily unawares.

5. Finally, whenever you forget #1-#4, remark upon the weather - even if you're in a lecture room, after dark, and have been indoors studying all day. As tedious as this topic may be, it will ALWAYS rescue you from a floundering moment.

Hope this list helps others as much as it would have helped me about 3 hours ago...