Crouch and hold...engage. (Eeeek!!)

Right, so I've been working pretty much nonstop for awhile now...I have a deadline coming up and scanning the parish registers is taking longer than I planned. Still, when I left the research unit this evening I decided I needed to have a bit of de-stress laptop-TV time. Upon arriving home I found my viewing choices were between Dora the Explorer and the Scotland v Australia rugby test match. Granted it was a tough call, but my graduation from Kindergarten seemed to indicate that I needed to leave the safety of childhood and enter the unknown and sometimes violent adult world...therefore, rugby it was.

This was not my first time watching a rugby match on telly - the first was actually another test match awhile ago - however, this was the first match that I began to understand (or at least I think I began to understand ;-) ) what was going on. Surprisingly, the match didn't have any commentators, but the referee was microphoned. Therefore, all you heard was the ref as the game was being played. I think that's what helped me understand more about what was happening. It was like being a little bird on the ref's shoulder as he told players to "back away" or to stay on their side. My favourite rugby ref terminology comes when they are aligning the scrum formation. Imagine two lines of massive men facing each other and a ref in between them at one end making sure they're aligned. Then calmly, almost in a daddy-like voice he says "Crouch and hold...(pause)....engage!" On which mark, the two lines crunch together (hopefully staying locked and upright) and the controlled insanity ensues.

Did I mention these two lines of massive men don't have any padding on their bodies? There seem to be certain players that wear a kind of head-gear protection thingy, but I say "protection" in a very broadly defined way - it looks comparable to the kind of protection an ace bandage would provide if an elephant decided to sit on your leg. Seriously, I have no idea how all these players aren't reduced to a pile of pummelled flesh and broken bones by the end of every match. It might have something to do with the seemingly endless numbers of substitutions that can be made (or substitutions the ref forces due to bleeding...?) but, other than that possibility, I'm at a loss. A certain rugby-playing friend of mine needs to get his bottom back to England so he can fill me in on this mystery...I shouldn't be left to figure this stuff out on my own...;)